Me too!
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
