I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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