You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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