I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
