Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
