i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
