He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My dick has a subreddit
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize