hotel room ftw
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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