I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
