it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
