I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
