Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
