dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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