That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
