I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
