ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
