Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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