I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
