But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
