You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
