Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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