dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is this like a preordered booty call?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize