Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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