I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
