I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
