she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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