Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
