its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
