finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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