he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
