My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
