fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Holy sore nipples Batman
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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