i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
