my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
