The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
