When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
