Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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