Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
