If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
