Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
