my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
