its not stalking. its research.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
