they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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