Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
