Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
