and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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