Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
