a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
