What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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