she looked like the bat from fern gully.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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