guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
