the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
