he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
