pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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