I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
