Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize