No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize