I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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