I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize