I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
