Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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